


Not a Coward

by mhunter10



Series: Call Me Private Gallagher [4]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Gen, M/M, private gallagher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 04:14:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1154750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mhunter10/pseuds/mhunter10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~ week 3b- Ian confesses to doing something he hasn't done in awhile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not a Coward

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t just get off to thinking about Mickey.

It just sort of…happened. Like the first time, I guess.

It’s not like I haven’t done it before, thinking back to those times he was in juvie or really just whenever I felt like it. Not that I really had the privacy back home, but a guy can always find a way.

Carl’s probably the master at whacking it in public without people knowing now.

I hate my mind sometimes.

When I’m asleep, I can’t get away from his face. That last conversation runs on repeat and I can’t do anything to change it. It’s like knowing there’s a jump-scare about to happen in a movie, and still getting scared when it does. Now when I’m awake, all I can think about is his pale skin, the back of his neck, his shoulders, the way his back muscles move when he arches, that dip near his ass that looks like it was made for my hand, the bullet scars on his left cheek. I see it all and imagine I’m sliding into him hard. Next thing I know, I’m leaning against the tiles of the shower fucking my fist like it’s him.

I hate this.

I’m back in my room writing this shit down and I feel like I want to do it again. Like, maybe if I just give in and jerk myself raw I can get rid of these feelings. These fucking feelings like I’m supposed to be somewhere else instead of here like an idiot; like some coward.

I’m not.

I’m not a coward and I’m not going back.

I can’t.

\- Ian


End file.
